Had a Lick at a Snake Again

Stephanie shows off her quirky sense of humor past taking a new camber on various electric current topics.

Whatcha gonna do when the crick runs dry? — Whatcha gonna exercise when the crick runs dry?

Stephanie Henkel

Translating Southern Sayings

Every bit a transplanted Yankee living in the South, I am often surprised and amazed by the colorful Southern expressions I hear. Of grade, there are the skilful onetime standbys nosotros all know and love, similar "y'all" and "down yonder." Only the richness of Southern speech goes far beyond ane or ii-discussion expressions. There'due south a Southern expression for every occasion.

While their images and colloquialisms tickle the funny bone, Southern expressions unremarkably convey exactly what the speaker intended. No one can mistake the intent and meaning of "I'g going to jerk a knot in your tail!" On the other manus, there are some Southernisms that information technology might accept a Yankee like me years to effigy out without a translator.

For example, hither is an expression I've never ever heard above the Bricklayer-Dixon line: "That possum's on the stump!" (Translation: That's equally good as it gets!)

Or this one: "His heart is a thumpin' gizzard." (Translation: He'due south cold-hearted and cruel.)

Whether you are from another office of the country or from another land altogether, I promise y'all enjoy this collection of Southern sayings.

When a Southerner Gets Angry

He'south got a burr in his saddle.
His knickers are in a knot.
She's pitching a hissy fit.
She's pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it. (When she's more pissed off.)
He has a duck fit. (One pace above a hissy fit.)
She has a dying duck fit. (Translation: Run and hibernate!)

Southern Sayings Most Bad Character

Y'all're lower than a snake'south abdomen in a wagon oestrus.
He'due south slicker'north owl sh*t.
She'due south meaner than a wet panther.
He's a ophidian in the grass.
Why, that egg-suckin' dawg!
Worthless every bit gum on a boot heel!

When Southerners Are Busy

I been running all over hell's half acre.
She'south busier than a cat covering crap on a marble flooring.
I'one thousand as busy every bit a one-legged true cat in a sandbox.
Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Running like a headless chicken.

Stephanie Henkel

Southern Sayings Nearly Conceit and Vanity

She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.
She's stuck upwardly higher than a low-cal-pole.
She has her nose so high in the air she could drown in a rainstorm.
He thinks the dominicus comes up just to hear him crow.

(About of these comments are made about women. Apparently, Southern men are not stuck upwards.)

Southern Expressions About Being Cheap

He squeezes a quarter so tight the hawkeye screams.
He's tighter than a bull'due south donkey at fly time.
Tighter than a flea'southward donkey over a rain butt.
He's and so cheap he wouldn't give a nickel to see Jesus ridin' a cycle.

Southern Phrases Nigh Existence Bankrupt or Poor

Too poor to pigment, as well proud to whitewash.
I'm as poor equally a church mouse.
I'grand so poor I can't afford to pay attention.
He was so poor, he had a tumbleweed as a pet.
I couldn't purchase a hummingbird on a string for a nickel.
I'1000 and so poor I couldn't bound over a nickel to save a dime.
He doesn't accept a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.

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Dressed Too Scantily? They Will Say

Those pants were and so tight I could see her faith.
Her pants are so tight that if she farts it'll blow her boots off
Yous're gonna have old and new-monia dressed similar that!
Lawd, people volition be able to see to Christmas!
Law, pull that downward! We kin come across clear to the promised country!

Southerners Experiencing a Drought Might Say

Information technology's so dry out the trees are bribing the dogs.
I swan, you all musta pissed God off somehow. It's drier than a popcorn fart 'circular these parts. (Translation: Ya got me... I don't know what a popcorn fart is!)

Confused? In the South, They Might Say

He doesn't know whether to bank check his ass or scratch his watch.
He couldn't notice his ass with both hands in his back pockets.
He's virtually as confused equally a fart in a fan manufactory.
She's lost equally last yr's Easter egg.

(Equally nosotros Yankees say, "These people don't know which way is upwardly.")

Well, that just DILLS my PICKLE! — Well, that simply DILLS my PICKLE!

Southerners Know Happiness When They Run into It

He's as happy as if he had good sense.
Happier than ol' Blue layin' on the porch chewin' on a big ol' catfish head.
Happy every bit a expressionless squealer in the sunshine. (Translation: Obviously pretty happy.)
Grinnin' similar a possum eatin' a sweet irish potato.
Well that merely dills my pickle.

Expressions About Laziness

Won't hit a lick at a serpent. (Translation: So lazy he wouldn't chase a snake away.)
He's about as useful as a steering cycle on a mule.

Irritation Brings Out Some Artistic Southern Expressions

She gets my goose.
He just makes my ass itch!
Yankees are like hemorrhoids: Pain in the butt when they come downwards and e'er a relief when they go back up.
That would brand a bishop mad enough to kick in stained glass windows.
She could make a preacher cuss!
She could piss off the pope.
If you don't stop that crying, I'll give you something to cry about!
Who licked the red off your candy?
She could start an statement in an empty house.
He's about every bit useless as a screen door on a submarine/a trapdoor on a canoe.
That makes nearly every bit much sense as tits on a bull.
Quit goin' effectually your ass to get to your elbow.

Colorful Southern Expressions About Liars

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it'south rainin'!
Don't pee downward my back and tell me information technology's raining.
That dog won't hunt.
Y'all're lyin' like a no-legged dog!
If his lips's movin', he's lyin'.
You'd call an alligator a cadger.
That human is talking with his tongue out of his shoe.
He'south as windy as a sack full of farts.

(The most artistic expression about liars I've heard in the North is "Lying like a rug." Southerners have much more colorful ways of accusing a liar.)

Southernisms About Stupidity

If that boy had an thought, information technology would dice of loneliness.
The porch lite'southward on, but no one's home.
He'south only got one oar in the h2o.
If brains were leather, he wouldn't have enough to saddle a junebug.
He'southward and so impaired, he could throw himself on the basis and miss.
He hasn't got the sense God gave a goose.
When the Lord was handin' out brains, that fool idea God said trains, and he passed 'crusade he don't like to travel.
His brain rattles around like a BB in a boxcar.
There'southward a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ.
So impaired he couldn't pour piss out of a kick with the instructions written on the heel.
He don't know south**t from shinola. (Now this one I've heard in New Jersey....)
If his brains were dynamite, he couldn't accident his nose.
I was born at night, but not concluding night! (I'm not that stupid!)

He is so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss. — He is and then dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

If You Hear These Southern Expressions, Yous Improve Watch Out

Either somebody'southward in real problem, or there'south a fight brewing if you lot hear...

I'g gonna cut your tail!
I'm gonna jerk her bald!
Proceed it upward and I'll abolish your birth certificate.
I am going to jerk a knot in your tail.
You lot don't know dip sh** from apple butter!
Me-n-you are gonna mix.
You don't spotter out, I'k gonna cream yo' corn.
You better give your heart to Jesus, 'crusade your butt is mine.
I'll slap you to sleep, so slap y'all for sleeping.
I'm gonna tan your hide.
I'll knock y'all into the heart of side by side week looking both ways for Sunday!
I'll knock you lot so hard you'll see tomorrow today.

Southern Expressions for Speed (Fast or Slow)

Faster than a one-legged man in a barrel-boot contest.
Faster than green grass through a goose.
Faster than a hot knife through butter.
Slower than a Sunday afternoon.
You lot took as long as a month of Sundays.
We're off like a herd of turtles.
He ran like a scalded haint. (I don't know what a "haint" is, simply apparently a scalded i tin run really fast!)
It happened faster than a knife fight in a telephone berth.

Ugly or Looking Bad?

Now these are really unkind, simply funny equally heck!

He's and so ugly, he didn't become hit with the ugly stick, he got whopped with the whole forest!
He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the manner down.
So ugly she'd make a freight train accept a dirt route.
So ugly he'd scare a buzzard off a gut pile.
She's and so ugly I'd hire her to haunt a business firm!
If I had a dog equally ugly as you, I'd shave his barrel and make him walk backwards.
She is so ugly, her face would turn sugariness milk to clabber.
She was then ugly when she was born that her momma used to infringe a baby to take to church on Lord's day

When the ugliness is just temporary:

I experience like I've been chewed up and spit out.
I feel like I been 'et past a wolf and sh** over a cliff.
He looks like ten miles of bad route.
You look like you've been rode hard and put upward wet!

If he were an inch taller, he'd be round.

Southern Observations Near...

Weight

He'southward so skinny, if he stood sideways and stuck out his natural language, he'd expect similar a attachment.
She's so skinny, yous tin't even see her shadow.
She's spread out like a cold supper.
If he were an inch taller, he'd exist round.

Wealth

Sh**tin can' in high cotton.
He'southward richer'n Croesus.
He's so rich he buys a new boat when he gets the other one wet.

Good Looking Guys and Gals

Fine as frog pilus divide four ways!
She'southward pretty as a pumpkin just one-half as smart.

Existence Hungry

I'm so hungry my belly thinks my throat'south been cut.
I could swallow the north end of a south-bound polecat.
I'm so hungry I could eat the north end of a south-bound caprine animal.

Being Well-Fed or Good Food

Total equally a tick.
Put that on superlative of your caput and your tongue would vanquish your brains out trying to get to information technology

Existence Suprised

These are probably some of my very favorites!

Well butter my butt and call me a beige.
Well, slap my caput and call me silly!

When Something Smells Actually Bad

He smelled bad enough to gag a maggot.
Something smells bad enough to knock a dog off a gut wagon.

Colorful Expressions About the Atmospheric condition

Similar some of the other Southern phrases, a few of these might not be appropriate in mixed company.

Colder than a well digger's butt in January.
It was colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.
That rain was a real frogwash.
It rained like a moo-cow pissin' on a flat rock.
Hotter than bluish blazes.
It's colder than a penguin'southward balls.
It's hotter than two rabbits screwin' in a wool sock!
It's cold enough to freeze the assurance off a puddle table.
Colder than a banker's middle on foreclosure mean solar day at the widows' and orphans' home.
It's been hotter'n a goat'south butt in a pepper patch.
Information technology'south common cold enough to freeze the tit off a frog.
It is hotter than a jalapeño'southward coochie.

All-Purpose Southern Expressions Nosotros Couldn't Do Without

Y'all.
All you lot.
Down yonder.
Anoint your pea-pickin' little eye!
Buss my go-to-hell.
I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on him if he was on burn down.
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay under the porch.
Why so sad? Did Chevrolet stop makin' trucks?
Deep in the South where sushi is still called bait.
He's near as useful every bit a screen door on a submarine.
That sticks in your throat similar a hair in a beige.
You're and so fulla s**t your eyes are dark-brown.
He was as nervous every bit a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.
He couldn't carry a tune if he had a bucket with a lid on it.

The Southern word for "sushi" is "bait."

Southern Slang


Give-and-take	Part of speech	Translation	Example
bread basket	noun	stomach	His bread basket is bigger than a bread basket, if you know what I mean.
britches	noun	pants	HIs britches are so tight they brand his legs wait similar hot dogs.
cattywampus	adjective	beveled or awry; cockeyed	The storm knocked the clothes on the clothesline all cattywampus!
fetch/fetching	verb/adjective	go get/skilful looking	I'm gonna fetch me the nigh fetching colt I can detect.
fixin'	verb	getting set	I'g fixin' to fix the porch door after I finish this sweet tea.
gussied upwards	adjective	dressed up; fancy	She'southward so gussied up you lot'd think it was a beauty contest.
hankerin'	verb or noun	hunger or yearning	I take a hankerin' for biscuits and gravy.
highfalutin'	adjective	fancy, pompous, or pretentious	He'south so highfalutin' he thinks his sh*t tastes like sherbert.
lick	noun	a small corporeality	I can't hear a lick with all this hooplah.
piddlin'	adjective or verb	trivial, puttering, or pottering around	Quit your piddlin' and get to piece of work!
plumb	describing word	entirely, completely	She'southward plumb crazy.
ruckus	noun	a disturbance or mayhem	He made such a ruckus he woke the possums.
skedaddle	verb	run away; hurry	Yous better skedaddle before you lot go caught!
uppity	describing word	haughty, arrogant	He'southward so uppity he deserves a PhD in snobbery.
whup	verb	whip or beat	I'm gonna whup you where the sun don't shine!

Southern Expression Poll

That'southward All She Wrote...

Well, that's all she wrote, y'all. I've looked all over hell and half of Georgia to find the best and funniest Southern sayings for all yous, and I sure promise they tickled you as much as they tickled me.

And if you have whatever more fine Southern sayings, well, bless yer pea pickin' hearts, but permit 'er rip, tater scrap, and jot them down in the comments section below. I'm just happier than a dead pig in sunshine to have all y'all visiting me here today and taking the time to sit awhile and share your thoughts.

If yous enjoyed this, be sure to cheque out More Funny Southern Sayings and Southernisms from Readers.

Yankees merely can't laissez passer for Southerners!

Well, we try... — Well, we attempt...

Stephanie Henkel

Questions & Answers

Question: Do yous have whatever insight on where the expression "I'm going to the house" comes from? Also, exercise you have any good comebacks when someone asks yous, "What do you know?"

Answer: "I'm going to the house" is such a mutual expression, I'm non sure information technology originated in any specific region.

"What do you know?" It's ever been a rhetorical question, simply I imagine someone with a quick wit could come up with a funny, sarcastic answer. I oasis't heard whatsoever particular witty comebacks lately, though, accept you?

Question: What does it mean when people starting time a sentence with "law?" I've enjoyed reading these. I lived in Alabama in the early on fifties later on living my first few years in Brazil, Ginny, I assumed everyone the U.s.a. spoke similar this back then.

Answer: I think that "law" is really a grade of "Lord", possibly calling on the lord tor help or understanding.

Question: Don't you think the "pants so tight yous tin can tell his faith" refers to men and circumcision?

Reply: No, I don't. Generally, I have non heard comments about men's pants at all.

Question: I didn't grow up in the southward, but I did grow up a country male child in Iowa. Nigh all of these sayings were role of my growing upwards. The i maxim which I truly don't sympathise is "Well, bless your heart". Some people say it's a derogatory statement, others accept told me it'southward a good thing. What gives?

Answer: "Bless your middle" is sort of an all-purpose expression. It tin be used to mean anything from, "y'all sugariness affair" to "you're an idiot".

For example, "She takes such good intendance of her elderly momma and daddy, bless her eye." or

"He doesn't have the sense to come in out of the rain, bless his middle."

Information technology is just i of those sayings that you have to hear in context to understand what meaning is intended.

Question: Have you heard anyone say "Oh, my hind human foot!"? My mother and aunts used to say this if they thought someone was telling a tall tale. I've said it so frequently to my chiliad nieces as they were growing up, this expression is now used by the girls. Whatever idea where this ane originated?

Respond: I don't know where this expression originated, but, yes, I take heard it. At that place is another similar expression that is commonly used, but is a little more vulgar. I call back the "oh, my hind pes" expression is just a cleaned upwards version of, "oh, my a**."

Question: Happy as a lart? I've heard the expression 100 times simply not certain if lart is the right word or if I've been misunderstanding

Respond: I believe that the expression is "Happy as a lark", a bird noted for it's cheerful, happy song.

Question: Would delight explain the expression 'speak of the devil,' and verify that information technology is a Southern maxim?

Answer: "Speak of the devil" is part of the expression, "Speak of the devil and he shall announced." The expression is used when 1 is speaking nigh a person who is absent and and then suddenly shows up. It was also in one case used to warn against saying the devil'due south name for fear he would appear.

The expression is quondam and could have originated as an old English language proverb. Information technology is not a particularly a Southern proverb.

Question: What is the pregnant of the Southern saying "Depression in the hole"?

Answer: I have not heard that one before, only I would guess that it means "keep your head downwards if you want to avert trouble". Perhaps it'due south a term carried over from wartime when soldiers hid in foxholes to avoid enemy fire?

Question: Is there a southern manner to say Merry Christmas?

Answer: Yes, Merry Christmas.

Question: What does "Wake with the South In My Rima oris" mean? Does that hateful a Southern accent?

Answer: I oasis't heard that expression, just your caption sounds likely.

Question: What does the phrase "he's dumber than a mud debate" mean?

Reply: Pretty dumb!

Question: What does it mean when someone says "You're sexier than socks on a rooster"?

Answer: I guess you're pretty sexy!

Question: Great collection you have here. I am from the southward and take always enjoyed the expression "smile similar a jack-ass eating briars" when someone is overly proud of themselves or just has a silly smile on their face. I also like sarcastically stating something is "every bit pretty equally a spotted poodle with the pink mange." My question though is about the exclamation "Well my lands!" or "Oh my lands!" Practice you have any idea of its origin?

Answer: I've heard the expression oft. "Oh, my lands," or "land sakes," seems to exist a deliberate commutation for Lord, a minced oath.

Question: I'm from Northern Alabama. Here in Appalachia, nosotros've heard all of these and many more. One expression that I've never been able to find was ane used in my family. It was used to described a part of something existence assembled incorrectly. Example: "That's not going to work, son. You've got that part on there Wrong Sudadderds." (Spelling a phonetic guess). Any idea?

Answer: I've never heard the expression "wrong sudadderds", just it's an interesting manner of saying "assbackwards!"

Question: What does the southern proverb "yuns" mean?

Answer: Yuns is a shortened version of "yous ones", similar to "you lot all".

Question: Is there a saying for that pleasant fourth dimension effectually dusk when the temperature cools off in a few minutes, in a pleasant way?

Respond: I just came across a word in a Dean Koontz book that I'm reading that might exist what you are looking for: "darkling" or "darkle". Information technology's not a southern expression, simply might fit the neb.

Question: Practise you think that "bless her/your/his heart" is an insult?

Answer: Well... it all depends on who is saying it and the intention. Information technology can definitely be a softly worded insult, or it tin mean something very gratis.

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